What 2 Expect
A roller coaster of emotion…
There are 3 key stages that you’ll experience when someone you love is deployed. This section gives you a “heads up” on what to expect.
Before Deployment…
You may feel a bit weird and find that everyone is stressed out around the house. Your feelings might include fear, anger, denial, resentment, excitement and guilt. It may feel like an emotional rollercoaster… You might find it unfair that your parent is leaving you – it’s normal to feel that way. Just take the time to talk about it!
It is important to remember that we are all human. As the final week before deployment approaches, many different feelings will surface for members of the family. Don’t be surprised if the level of stress is very high. Everyone wants the final weeks before a deployment to be fun and intimate but there are some inevitable side effects.
During Deployment…
When your parent leaves, the family will go through a period of adjustment. It may be difficult - but this is normal. Feelings at this stage may include relief, anxiety, enthusiasm, pride, and a sense of abandonment. You may feel insecure and frightened by the fact that your parent is not there to help you along. Reactions during this phase may include: a change in your schedule; a change in your eating habits; and an increased sense of independence.
Tip: If you are doing new things and taking on more responsibilities (like a part-time job), you should tell your deployed parent. This will help your parent, upon their return, to better adjust to the fact that you are growing up.
After Deployment…
Though it’s a joyous time, families may find themselves facing another adjustment period when a parent returns from deployment. You need to prepare for the return just as you did for the departure. When your parent comes back from his or her deployment, there is a period of adjustment - not just for you, but for everyone!
It may take time and effort to re-establish the lines of communication.
Your parent may need time and space alone to recuperate – that’s normal so don’t take it personally.
You may need (a bit of a bummer…) to renegotiate your privileges and responsibilities.
Your routine, your habits, and the privileges you acquired while your parent was away may need to change again. Sometimes that’s good… but sometimes it’s hard to accept.
It’s important to realize that while your parent was away… you changed. You may need to take the time to explain this to your parent. Just talk about it!
Each of us will react differently to separation. The intensity of feelings will vary and normal “ups and downs” will occur during separation. If you are having problems coping with the separation, health professionals are available to help you sort things out.
You can find help at:
Your local MFRC - Each MFRC has “prevention and intervention” staff members who can help you anonymously. No one will know and you’ll feel better. Getting connected to them is as simple as calling your local MFRC.
Your family doctor’s office
Your school counselling services office
What is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?
We all hear about it... but what is it? And what does it mean?
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, is a psychiatric disorder that can occur after an individual experiences or witnesses a life-threatening event such as military combat, a natural disaster, a terrorist incident or a serious accident. People who suffer from PTSD often relive the experience through nightmares and flashbacks and can have difficulty sleeping. These symptoms can be severe and enduring to the point where they significantly impair the person's daily life. Other symptoms can include irritability, aggression, violence, avoidance, and the inability to be affectionate or enjoy former pastimes. Help is available for those living with PTSD by calling the local MFRC or consulting a physician.